bananas

Banana smoothie. A few things to say:
1) Louisa has a smoothie maker. This is a work of genius, and allows me to pulverise my fruit. This enables me to eat an apple, two satsumas and a banana in the time it would take me to eat half the apple. This is good
2) Tom today bought 14 fairtrade bananas and 8 pints of milk.
3) This resulted in much smoothie.
4) My stomach can talk. I quote:

"There reaches a point where one just has to say - surely it is impossible for such quantities of banana to infiltrate one's sphincters in such a short timespan, but alas, I was mistaken in my beliefs. There is nothing left for me in this warm abdominal cavity that I call my home. I thought my irate response to haggis would have been enough to discourage you from further assaults to my absorptive capacities, but no. Again, I was mistaken. And so, it is with great sadness, that I extracate myself from your abdomen, with none of the glorious portentiousness of parturition, to make my way in the cold streets of Cambridge. 'Big Issue? Get it before the acid melts it'. Goodbye."