Radio Shmadio

Last night I decided to take my minidisc player for a little outing (it has been neglected recently) across London to be used during my journey to Rahul's birthday thingie in London. Unfortunately, having exhausted my minidisc on the journey home, I found myself listening to London LBC Radio, for my old minidisc has an FM function. This LBC is a station of moaning. If you've had a particularly tough day, have read the paper (most likely the Express, or Mail) and despaired for the "way the country is going" a couple of times, then this is the station for you. I base this on 1 brief 15 minute listening on the bus on the way home at gone midnight, but it basically involved people ringing up moaning, and, more annoyingly, the DJ agreeing with everything they say, no matter how ridiculous and unfounded their ramblings. Particularly one fellow's argument , "I can't believe they're not giving out killer's names if they're under 18 to protect them. When I was under 18 I was in the army, and was trained to kill", annoyed me. I'm not entirely sure how he managed to link the two statements anyway, but the point I wish to raise is just what a good example of the "guilty until proven innocent" attitude such as that brought up by A Passage to India or Vernon God Little this is. The names of these "killers" are not given, because it is possible that they are, in fact, not killers, and if they are, we have a law system much better placed to deal with them than some vengeful member of the public who will be benefited by a name. In fact, I am often unsure of why the accused are named at all, regardless of age, unless, of course, they are on the run and may pose a risk to the public. I'm sure there will be someone reading this who will have a better idea of what I'm rambling on about - please leave a comment if you do!

In other news, Rahul's birthday was good fun. The food was pretty tasty (though I couldn't finish my main course - I blame the Tetleys Ally bought me) and the place was nice, if a little cramped and over-hot! A little shout out to Mr Todd, who has revealed his frequenting of this site to me. Keep on reading my man, and if you fancy it, leave me a comment to say hi! I hope you've recovered well from last night's shenanigans.

We are not built to cope with all the sadness in the World

"They both regretted the death, but they were middle-aged men who had invested their emotions elsewhere, and outbursts of grief could not be expected from them over slight acquaintances. It's only one's own dead who matter. If for a moment the sense of communion in sorrow came to them, it passed. How indeed is it possible for one human being to be sorry for all the sadness that meets him on the face of the earth, for the pain that is endured not only by men, but by animals and plants and perhaps by the stones? The soul is tired in a moment, and in fear of losing the little she does understand she retreats to the permanent lines which habit or chance have dictated and suffers there."

EM Forster, A Passage to India, p219.

A Passage To India

Before I start, I should just give a small warning that this post may give away some of the storyline. However, I would suggest that this book should not be read so much for the intrigue of what happens to Aziz, but for the people and politics surrounds that story. It sounds like a bold and pretentious statement, but in fact the main story framework is extremely small - it is its telling that I found most fascinating.

Aziz is an Indian doctor working in Chandrapore. From the beginning of the book he sparks a friendship with Mrs Moore and Miss Quested, two English ladies, and eventually invites them an some other friends on a trip to the Marabar Caves. During this trip, Aziz and Miss Quested become separated from the rest of the group, and the result is that Aziz is accused of assaulting Adela, who appears to run from the caves. From the moment of his arrest the affairs of Aziz are never mentioned - you have no idea of what has been happening to him, except through the biased words of the Anglo-Indians, who never once mention his name - he is always "the prisoner". This is just an example of the guilty-until-proven-innocent attitude of authority in this book. As soon as the trial falls apart, Aziz is mentioned by name again as if nothing has happened, and he re-enters the story. "From the moment of his arrest he was done for… he had despaired, not through cowardice, but because he knew that an English-woman's word would always outweigh his own." p208.

It's a fascinating insight to the years of Colonial India, and exposes the racism inherent in the system. As I read the book I was filled with a constant feeling of respect for Aziz - it's the way it's written. Because you see all that happens - you are aware of Aziz's innocence and intentions all along, all the prejudice around him is shocking. Perhaps also as he speaks perfect English, and, being a book, you do not really have any idea of the colour of his skin it feels even more shocking. I wonder if this book changed any opinions in the 20s?

Books...

This holiday, I have done much reading, which has been something I have been looking forward to doing ever since exams got to within 4 months away. I list...

• Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre. A pretty good read. Set in southern texas you follow the expoits of an incredibly unlucky and persecuted individual, Vernon Little. He has been witness to a mass murder at a local school, and as the only friend of the dead killer, he becomes a scape goat for the local police intent on "cause and effect". 3/5
  
• The Player of Games by Ian Banks. One of his culture novels, the first I've read. It took some getting into; his writing style is horrible - very punchy sentences, with poorly worded, forced dialogues. However, the story was quite a good idea, and if you can get past the writing and the fact that the characters names are clearly produced by Mr Banks luring his cat across his keyboard (Chiark-Gevantsa Jernau Morat Gurgeh dam Hassease indeed!), it's quite good. Basically, Jernau is a game player, he plays all, and he usually wins all in impressive style. He is taken away to the empire of Azad, where their game, Azad, is so complex that your positioning in a tournament determines your status in Azad society. 3.5/5
• Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. You all know what these are, and I love them. They're so well written - very few other books have presented the same interweaving and gripping story lines that the entire HP series have. Perhaps it's because there's around 3000 pages of character history, but the character developments are fantastic. An easy read, but well worth it. Not wanting to give anything away, the ending is great. I may have shed a tear or two... 5/5
• The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. The story slowly ducks and weaves, but it's the writing that really pulls you along in this book. It's written from 4 perspectives - three 1st person and one 3rd person. Leo Gursky writes with stacattoed, regularly punctuated sentences, and writes about his days trying to make himself noticed at the end of his life. He'll go into starbucks and order coffee loudly, and then proceed to deliberately spill it. He's written a book, but it was never published - it was given to a friend to look after when world war II began, and he hasn't seen it since. His only love, Alma emigrated from Poland during the war, while pregnant with Leo's only son. Another Alma writes exceptionally for a 15 year old - always questioning, always reasoning, and her brother "Bird" writes his own confused thoughts in his diary, which I suppose is his own was of expressing love. Their mother is translating The History of Love, a book by the main character in the 3rd person piece, Zvi... as the story unravels the stories begin to link together in breathtaking style. I really enjoyed this book, and will no doubt read it again and again. 5/5

Cornwall - Train Japes.

And so Tom travelled to deepest Cornwall. The train journey was a long one (the longest I've ever made), and took me from Paddington to Truro (via Plymouth). I was surrounded by prepubescent school children who, between the sugar rushes that followed mad dashes to the buffet car, were trying to convince each other that as we rushed across the coastal rail, the large expanse of cool blue water outside the window was not the sea.
"It's not the sea you know, it's just a lake," one would say.
"It so is the sea," a small confused voice would reply.
"It's not! It's a lake"
"It's not! It's the sea"
"No, lake!"
"Mr BARKER!!" the little voice would exclaim. "Is that the sea?"
"Of course it is the sea," the much maligned Mr Barker would reply. Ah, if only we all had an authority figure like Mr Barker to make everything right.

I seemed to have been followed around by the smell of cheap bacon. I foolishly went to burger king at Paddington, and the kid opposite me bought a bacon bap... man it smelt bad. Plus, on the train from Paddington I was sat next to an old lady who also smelt like bacon. As I expected, when I saw Alex in Truro she put these "olfactory hallucinations" down to the only possible cause - brain tumour. Humm.. hopefully not! Thankfully the smell left later that afternoon! Phew!

Truro was lovely, we stopped for a quick cream tea in a little tea shop with incredibly high ceilings with hanging baskets with honed, pointed bases precariously dangling from it. Eep!

I'm sorry it's been so long. As the time since my last post stretched out, so did the amount of stuff I'd done, and so the inclination to write got less and less! Since I last posted, well, loads of stuff has happened. I've graduated (I now have a BA!) with a 2.1, which I am delighted about, and have left Cambridge for another long summer holiday.
Then, family holiday to Centre Parcs which involved much golf (some very poor rounds, and also some half decent rounds) along with swimming, badminton, squash, barbecues, snooker, kayaking, pedaloing and lots of cycling. Was really good fun. Then, home for a few days, during which I tried to organise my last two weeks of farm experience (and failed), and then I toddled off to Cornwall, which is where I'll start catching up the posts. My apologies.

eeek.. it's been a month. Update coming soon, I promise.

I'm a graduate! A boy with a BA. Woah. We had an amazing day, somehow it hardly rained at all, which, considering the recent way the weather's been, was very lucky! We had photos, rehersals, canapes, champagne - the whole shabang. I spent the day wearing a shirt, jacket, gown and hood, which eventually became incredibly heavy on my shoulders - it was a surprising relief to take them off! We all lined up in senate house, and when it eventually got to me I knelt down, had something mumbled to me in latin, and was then Tom Ward BA! Hah!

#Marillion, Marillion, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Marillion.#

Marillion are the best band in the world, and yesterday they came to Cambridge. They did a little signing session, and played a few songs (See it Like a Baby, 80 Days (which I really didn't expect) and The Answering Machine) in the HMV in Lions Yard. I was stood at the back listening to the Answering Machine and did a little double-take as I realised the person standing behind me was Mark Kelly*! He had turned up a little late, but signed my CD none-the-less. I managed to get my CD signed by all the guys and had a little chat with Mr H about The Cooper Temple Clause split-up (I was wearing my TCTC T-shirt). It was incredibly weird seeing these guys who have had such a huge influence on my life in the last 5 years in the flesh, and realising they are real people (though a little objectified by the signing-session). When I walked into HMV they were playing Marillion on the PR, there were Marillion CDs everywhere and everyone was wearing Marillion T-shirts. Having spent the last 5 years spotting every little reference to them that I can it was like sensory overload!!

*Marillion Keyboardist and Sample Man

Then, in the evening they played at the Junction, supported by Kingrat (who were pretty good, a little datedly prog, but ok). They played a huge two hour setlist: Splintering Heart | The Other Half | You're Gone | Thankyou Whoever You Are | Ocean Cloud | Fantastic Place | The Last Century for Man | Somewhere Else | The Wound | Between You and Me | King, and then as an encore: Easter | Garden Party | Neverland (a 26 ish min encore!).

It was amazing to hear Garden Party live, an homage to the prog days, chosen by H due to the fact that it's a Cambridge University piss-take:

#Champagne corks are firing at the sun again | Swooping swallows chased by violins again | Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again ... | Please don't lie upon the grass | Unless accompanied by a fellow | (May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello)#

It was written before I was born, and is typically Fish, but good fun in Cambridge. They also played Ocean Cloud, which was great lice - I've often wondered how they'd play it live. It's always amazing seeing those 5 guys make such an incredible and full sound. H is an amazing leading guy and put on a proper good show, even climbing over the gear during the encore. King was incredible, I completely lost myself in the ending, and Between You and Me was amazing live. All in all, a fantastic gig. I left with an incredible buzz and a sadness that so few people get to experience Marillion... jeez, I sound like an evangelist!

xxx

BBQ!

The pictures from the barbecue are up on flickr (click here), and a couple are on facebook too. It was an amazing night - everyone seemed to have fun, no-one got set on fire, and hopefully all the sausages were properly cooked. Unfortunately Sainsburys barbecues are useless, the first one didn't get very hot, and the second one failed to light - the paper burnt, but none of the coals caught, despite Bethmo, Alex and my best efforts (including pouring on half a box of matches, and some dried grass). However, I made a commando trip to Sainsburys (on Andrew's bike, which is pretty nice to ride, though the gears were broken) and got a 3rd one which was amazing.
We ate, drank and were merry, plus Bethmo brought a frisbee which we played until it got so dark that decapitation was a real worry.
We also drank my birthday bubbly. It's a little late I know but it was nice to have a celebration now the worry of exams is passed.

Passive Smoking

I have just been playing snooker, and despite having probably lopped a week off my life expectancy and come back smelling like an ashtray, I won 4-1. Well, the 2nd frame was a travesty given that I only won by a point and that was only because Rahul gave away 20 points in unlucky fouls, so 3-1. Still a decent victory though, and I did get a 17 point break (Red-Black-Red-Black-Red) and a 15 point break (Red-Blue-Red-Black).

Excitingly, not too long before the snooker hall will have to become non-smoking. Just over 2 weeks till ban-day!

Through a last-minute email, I played Cricket this afternoon for Clare. Unfortunately there was a severe lack of players, but a few people were drafted in by the captain to play. Unfortunately they spent the majority of their time taking in Sri Lankan, so the team spirit was not really there, but it was a good game, and we had a fantastic day for it. It's the perfect thing to be doing in the sunshine! I scored a cracking 10 runs, and wicket kept. It took me a few overs to get into keeping, given that I haven't done it since my days playing for the 3rd XI with Tiffin, but eventually I got the hang of it.

The evening was spent making a quick dinner and then heading down to the bar. Alex and Vicky discovered Cranberry Mojitos, and I drank J2O. It was nice to have an abstenance evening, and we had the bar pretty much entirely to ourself. It was nice to have a chat with the bar staff, play a game of pool and laze around on the sofas for 2 hours.

Tom

p.s. Tomorrows is barbeques days!

Finals Almost Over

It's Thursday, and I've been free for 50hours and 24 minutes. Alex is in her final exam (must think statistical thoughts!) and will be finished in an hour and a half, Ella will be finished in two hours, and then this evening we have formal. Tom finished on Tuesday afternoon and arrived home with tonnes of M&S biscuits (not just biscuits) and with the phrase "I love English". This is a good sign that a) he has made the right decision moving from Physics to English and b) that the exam went ok! My daughter Vicky has finished her exams and is currently languishing in the bosom of her family back home in Somerset, Louisa is nearly done (tomorrow) and her exam yesterday on the Kuran went ok - she had some funny anecdotes of exciting points she made. The Englings Vicky, Iona and Erika finished last week, as did Reece and Bethmo finishes tomorrow.

The summary can be generalised as "Cumulatively exams are almost at 100% completed". Hurrah!

So, what have I been doing for the last few days? Well, reading mostly! I've finished "The Dawkins Delusion", which was well worth reading, probably before you an embark on "The God Delusion". See my brief review below. I've also just bought "Can a Darwinist be a Christian: The Relationship between science and religion" by Michael Ruse. The journey to understanding begins!

The Dawkins Delusion

The Dawkins Delusion - by Alistair McGrath and Joanna Collicutt McGrath.

I must admit that this was a very good read. McGrath gives a fair and well argued critique of a book he describes as "often little more than an aggregation of convenient factoids, suitably overstated to acheive maximum impact, and loosely arranged to suggest they constitute an argument". He essentially portrays Dawkins as an "Athiest Fundamentalist" who's main aim is not to pass on the message of evolution to the uninitiated, but to wipe out all world religion. One of my favourite quotes sums up how McGrath views Dawkin's world view:

"Here is Ruse's comment on what happened next:

'When John Paul II wrote a letter endorsing Darwinism, Richard Dawkins' response was simply that the Pope was a hypocrite, that he could not be genuine... Dawkins himself simply preferred an honest fundamentalist.'

Ruse's comment immediately helps us understand what is going on. If Dawkins' agenda was to encourage Christians to accept biological evolution, the Pope's statement would have been welcomed... Dawkins is unable to accept that the Pope - or presumably any Christian - could accept evolution."

It appears that Dawkins is a character who shares many attributes with fundamentalist Christians and is in fact doing more damage to the atheist/Darwinian cause than any creationist. In my opinion, and I have held this view for some time, he does genuinely believe that evolution is the be all and end all of life on earth: "no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference.” (A River Out of Eden, Dawkins 1995). However, until reading this book, I pretty much agreed with him - though I was willing to compromise for religion. Having read this book my eyes have been opened even further to the possibility of a God. One of the most important revelations (as well as the aforementioned "Real Magic" was that many scientists are religious. And, in the words of Gould "Either half my colleagues are enormously stupid or else the science of Darwinism is fully compatible with atheism"). Religious belief is not infantile, or stupid.

Thus, I must agree with McGrath. While Dawkins' books on the natural sciences are well argued, clear and enlightening, it appears that The God Delusion is a departure from his usual well argued, scientific, evidence based writing. Now, I have not read The God Delusion, but having read this critique I'm not sure I want to. Dawkins arguments seem to lack depth and carefully researched arguments - many of his points rely on long-defunct Christian theology, in short, if you do read the God Delusion, read The Dawkins Delusion as well - at least give religion a fair shot. McGrath has the advantageous position of an ex-atheist Christian trained in molecular biophysics and also theology. Read the book, and make your own mind up. In my mind, Dawkins has lost alot of respect.

How much is religion "blind faith" and how much of it is reasoned?

The AMAZING Sheep

It is done! The photo of the finished sheep is on flickr.

So that's it then! After two months of preparation, they're done. Not really out in a blaze of glory, the essay I wrote on Mod4 was very poor, but hopefully my Mod3 essays will make up for it. It still hasn't really sunk in that I've finished. I finished my exam and was met by Rich and Dan outside (with a bottle of champagne), and then skipped back to Braeside with Alex via sainsburies. Then, much beer and hamburgers later I've tidied my room, done some washing and made a new monkey picture - such are the labours of my day. I'm slighly confused - surely there must be some work to do!?

All in all, the exams went ok. I wrote 12 essays, 62 pages of writing in 12 hours. My poor wrist is knackered after the exertion. Some essays were bad (generally the DevBio ones), others were pretty good (Hurrah for fetuses!). But, most importantly they're done! Results in about 2 weeks!

There are a couple of things for me to catch up blog-wise. There are photos of the rise of the sheep of furry-whiteness (which if you're really lucky, and I'm not too drunk might even be animated), and similar photos for the grow your own pet egg dinosaur thing. Explanation to come soon.

Anway, that's me free! I'm gonna look after Alex for two days, she finishes on Thursday, and then it's off to Formal on Thursday evening, and hopefully horribly downhill from there! Yay!

Yours Relievedly, Tom.

3 down, 1 to go. So close

Real Magic

Nnrgh - I can't sleep. Winding down time with a bit of a conundrum - I'm not eloquent on the subject, but here's the way it seems.

My fear is thus: If one assumes there is a "god", for want of a better term, then all I have spent the last 3 years learning about is pointless.

Why? If one assumes there is a "god", then all the glorious feats of science and biology that I am confronted with, baffled with, and amazed by are nothing but simple creations to him. It's not this apparent simplicity that upsets me, more the "magic". It' s all here by magic. Our hugely complex physiology is all there by magic, the brain... magic... he did it. Oh... How dull.

Here comes the revelation (I'm sure it's been said before a million times, a million ways, but it's a personal realisation that has got me thinking properly for the first time about this subject). Maybe it is "magic", but, magic that functions in a way we can describe - science. It is incredible, but explainable. Where does this leave God? There's no reason why there shouldn't be a God. Science can explain a lot extremely well (the expression patterns of Engrailed in the Drosophila parasegments to take a poignant example), but surely a point will be reached where we just cannot explain some things - they'll be outside our field of understanding? Is such a wangling in of God into scientific understanding just an "easy way out" for the religious? I'm no longer sure that it is. Many scientist are religious, and they are certainly not "deluded fools" as Dawkins would have you believe.

Why God? this is my main problem now. I've leaped over the "Science and God are mutually exclusive" boundary (that, incidentally, Dawkins still seems to be stuck behind), but why bother with believing in something so unbelievable, why bother with "Church" (though of course, by church I mean any sort of religious ritual)? I'm working through these parts slowly... but it's an interesting journey. This "real magic" point really has excited me, but I'm still nowhere near anything but agnostic.

Any (constructive - no knee-jerks) ideas are welcomed.

Experimental Design

Experimental design questions. They've not mentioned them all term, but a few turned up on our sample exam paper (and a few is a significant amount when you have to write 3 essays out of only 6 titles - just read about what interests you indeed! Pfff!), and I haven't got a clue about how to answer them. I went along to Sidney today for a chat with some other people doing this module (which apparently is not being run next year - it seems we are the 1st, and last to do the making babies module), and we spoke about a few ideas for some practice questions. Unfortunately, they have all done experimental projects (in fact, I think only 2 out of the 11 people doing Mod4 did theory projects, me included), and so as a result they know loads about experimental procedures. Apparently grafting experiments cannot be done in Zebrafish as they're not robust enough - do it in chicks instead. These questions seem a little biased towards those who did experimental projects. Now I find out!

Anyway - that's what's bugging me at the moment, and is the reason I can't sleep... maybe writing it down will have helped. Goodnight!

currently listening, Elgar - The Dream of Gerontius. Ahhhh.. better.

I'm glad to see that this blog is No.1 on a Google search for "mitten man". I was worried it actually meant something!


currently listening, The Cure - Bloodflowers. Probably not the most relaxing thing for trying to get to sleep, but a really good album none-the-less