Fail

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Pathogenland

Which sector of society is represented by which pathogen?

So far we have decided that students are herpes, because they do alot of sleeping, and occasionally come out for a HUGE party.

Any more ideas anyone?

Oh God, He's pumping a Porshe

Sequence of events:

1. Small child outside stables in car park carrying a bicycle pump.
2. Small child sees Porsche parked in car-park.
   
3. Child decides that Porsche is looking a little flat (it's pretty low-to-the-road), and decides that it would be kind to give it a little air.
4. Child inserts pump through rear grill and starts, well, pumping.
5. Mother of small child turns round and exclaims "Oh God, he's pumping a Porsche".
6. Small child is removed from vicinity of Porsche.
7. Tom appears wheeling a barrow full of horse-shit.
8. Mother: "Oh god, it's not your Porsche is it?"
9. Tom. "No. I wish". <-- how witty.
   

Do I look like I own a Porsche? Would that be a compliment or not? Ideas on a postcard (or in the comments box).

Flapjacks, Football and Flying

1. I got a flapjack, infact, this week, my life has been full of flapjacks. It's been one of those weeks where the oats follow you round - you know what I'm talking about. Bloody oats. Well, not at all; I was followed in a good way. In a stomach-tinglingly good way. Hannah made flapjacks that were juicy, soft and scrumtious, and then Alex sent me a CHOCOLATE flapjack that was full of sweet cocoa goodness. Yay!
2. Football. Worcester Park Wonders won. We actually won. For the first time since 2 years ago we won. 2-2 after full time, and then 4-3 on penalties. Was great fun, but now my legs are melting. MELTING.
3. Flying. Flying... Birds fly. It does begin with F... and I did have a conversation with my dad about the perils of high-altitude flight should you have some sort of respiratory disorder. Seems to fit in with the title.

Booyakka!

Tom

UPDATE: The Land o' Lakes Flapjack Festival


Land o' Lakes Flapjack Festival. Take me there. In a tardis... whatever. Look! Americans dressed as Scotch Pancakes, and probably flapjacks too if their amazing oat-power had not melted the camera lens when the photos were being taken... i assume.

In 1976, community organizations of Land O'Lakes planned an event that all area citizens could partake. It began as a small festival produced by civic, church and business groups. The annual festival, which is themed around flapjacks, has grown each year with more entertainment, rides and activities.

The three-day event, produced by the Central Pasco Chamber of Commerce, begins on Friday afternoon with the tossing of the first flapjack. Free flapjacks were offered for the first time in 1983, and have since become an annual ritual for the Saturday morning breakfast. The Land O'Lakes Butter Company in Minnesota has supplied its namesake butter every year since the first free flapjack breakfast. Throughout the weekend thousands of residents and visitors enjoy free entertainment, parades, shows, carnival rides, and food. On Saturday evening, the Honorary Mayor of Land O'Lakes is "elected" with dollar votes. The "candidate" who raises the most funds wins the honorary mayor position. The fundraiser activity supports the chamber and the continued improvement of Land O'Lakes. Land O' Lakes is named for the many blue lakes in this community north of Tampa Bay. From this website

The things you find on Google.

Random Buttery Event I - Andrew remembers his birth.

The State of the World Today by Me

The State of the World Today



My sketch tells the entire story of the state of the world today, and I guess it needs some explanation to reveal its true deep-seated meaning.

In the background you will clearly see a huge A-frame - this represents whatever great power it is that holds the world together, yet, it is adorned with small black spots - it is not well! Why? Well, look to the top right of the picture and you will see a hooded man - he represents pikeys - yet look! His left hand reaches behind him towards the sun - this represents his hope that one-day he will break free from his stabbing lifestyle (see his right hand). Below this man is a fish - he represents the anger all piscine-types have towards over-fishing in our atlantic seas, yet still, the smiling face of fishers looks down upon him laughing... laughing I tell you. Toward the centre of the A frame is a brush, hopefully brushing away the cobwebs of rubbishness. Arrows point to it to make you notice it, cos you'd probably miss it otherwise. The top left of the picture depicts one of those McDonalds Happy-meal toy dog things. I drew it wobbly because I'm not Lovin' It. Not at all. The bottom of the screen shows some pointy things. They look cool. The letters pcd are written upside down on the pointy things; representing how much I would like to turn upside down both the terrible disease Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia and the terrible band, Pussycat Dolls. There are swirly things underneath the A-frame represent Freud's Oedipus complex. Look at me, I'm so clever. The eye to the left of the screen overlooks all this intelligence and sighs in the way that only a mouth/vocal-chord-less eye can.


Comments should be entitled "An essay comparing and contrasting the use of imagery in 'The State of the World Today' and 'History in a Doodle'"

Tongue in cheek "History In A Doodle?"?...

... i fear not. Anyway -

4th blog of the day! Wow! Anyway, if you look to the top of my blog, the black bit, you'll see a button saying "next blog". I'm not sure if it always leads to the same one, but I just clicked it and it led me here.

I'm entertained, the whole of history is captured in one beautiful doodle, and I have been inspired to draw - stay tuned for the result!

Tom
xxx

p.s. You may have noticed the disappearance of the Make Poverty History campaign banner. This is because it is a load of crap, and they sent me spam.

Tornados, Teats and Trips.

A tornado in friggin' Birmingam! A big bone crushing tornado! Jeez. Reece is ok thankfully - got wet though. I don't know what's going on with this country, it seems to be falling apart! Apparently (according to my a-level biology... good old Mr King) Exeter (I think - or possibly Somerset - somewhere in England anywhere) has the highest tornado frequency of anywhere in the world, just they are really diddy :) <-- dunno why I smile... how strangely proud I am of this country. Oh and, while we're on the topic of natural disasters, my condolenses to those involved and killed in the Bombay monsoons. I hope Rahul is ok - is that not where he went on holiday? What have I been up to I hear you crying? Well, actually, not a great deal. I've done some work :o, bought a little note book to put down interesting things I read. I've done one chapter "The Common Integument" already. Woo. Did you know that the scent of "wet dog" is due to their sebaceous glands - not sure how exactly, it was vague on details. Or, that cats have 8 teats, and dogs have 10. Fascinating.



On the topic of teats, I found this photo with the caption:
if women were built like horses they would look something like this:
Though, in my opinion the bra is still a little too high.





Am off to London tomorrow to see Vicky, Alex, Reece and Iona. Woooo! Can't wait. Am taking the "North London Line" to Finchley.

Batman Quotes

Batman Quotes. Thanks to Vicky's favourites folder. Not sure where she got it from... neither is she worryingly! They're hilarious though - never saw this in Batman when I'd seen it before. Maybe it's fake, or I was too young. Probably the latter.

This one particularly entertained us all:

Robin, looking at Batgirl: "You know something, Batman?"
Batman: "What's that, Robin?"
Robin: "She looks very pretty when she's asleep."
Batman: "I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum."

Shoes, Smartness, and Llama Sex

Been a few days. Sorry people.

I have ordered a new suit. It cost £150 for the jacket and trousers. It will be the single most expensive piece of clothing that I own, but it is so smart :) Yayhooray. I should buy shoes too. I bought shoes last term, but then Davy sold me Davy-shoes of joy so they haven't been used. Grr... I have girl-like quantities of shoes and it hurts... in deep metaphysical places (best phrase EVER).

Currently, I am sat in Vicky's room having just learnt exciting things about hom, one of which I will write to help me remember it. Arterial Resistance can be used to maintain blood pressure, but will not affect cardiac output as this is controlled by the Starling Mechanism of the heart and autonomic inputs. I made that small because it's boring for everyone, BUT useful and clever :)

Also, Alex says she needs llamas to breed for wool and milk for Vicky (for maybe she will not be lactose intolerant to Llama milk!!). Like this I guess...



Ok.. so that was a weird post... I'm sorry. It's late. That's my excuse! Muwaha!


I'm Working!

Hello!

Tom is doing work... with Jen! Hooray! Jen says hello world, and takes photograph of tom also saying hello to world, which, itself is enjoying being said hello to. It says hello back in its own little way, the wave of a tree or the skip of a moon (im confused)

JEN IS HITTING ME WITH A WIRE. WE WANT TO UPLOAD PHOTO - BUT TOM BE IN WAY. BYE FOR A SECOND.

La.

So... I've just finished Experimental Physiology of Crap - and as a result am treating myself to a rather large FAFF. As Jen continues with her phonetic transcription of knuckle cracking beauty... correction, Jaw Cracking beauty... correction EVERY-BLOODY-JOINT-IN-HER -BODY cracking. STOP JEN... IT HURTS ME MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE.

And we listen to the lion king - done by G4 - the worst thing ever to grace god's green earth. In my opinion anyway. CERTAIN PEOPLE like them... they have no ears (or if they do their ears are broken). This really does hurt. I just have that image of the arseface that is G4 guy in my head and it reallyreallyhurts.

LOOK AT HIM. The one on the right. Look at his hand, look at the way he hold the microphone, look at his face, imagine what it sounds like when his vocal chords vibrate... some people are going to see them live!!! AAAAAAAAAAARGH. I've never hated anyone more - even Greenday! GREEENDAY I TELL YOU!.

Sorry.. rant over.

AAAAnyway, I'm off to MIMS it up big time.

See You Soon

Tom

x

The rain it falls

Today it rains. It rains alot. I went to buttery, and on my way (it's only a short journey) I saw many "exciting" (not really) things. See diagram


A. Arrow points to my room
B. The porters lodge where I have a large unknown parcel in my pidgeon hole. The porter was away for 30 mins - so much 24hr portering, and as such I couldn't get it. Yeah, my birthday isn't till Monday but it'd be nice to hold it now!
C. The place on the Cam where I saw some punters. PUNTING, on a day like today. They were getting wet with nothing more than an umbrella to hold them up - no doubt they will sink.
D. BUTTERY, where I had the most amazing brunch. 2xbacon, 2xegg, 2xtomatoes, mushrooms, 2xsausage, beans, orange juice. Mmmmmmmm

Plus, I got up at 8.50 this morning. On a SATURDAY!!!!! I did physiology and learnt stuff. Now I'm procrastinating cos I dont want to do any more. AAARGH.